I thought I'd give writing an actual blog entry a go and here we are. I hope you're all loving the animal pictures but that isn't my reality. It's one that I create to help forget about the existence I have to endure. I'm afraid my actual reality has come closer to a new dawning. One that I really don't like but one I've allowed myself to accept. I've learned that I may never get well and be that old Tori that I crave to be so, so much. The one who was always climbing trees and doing the most extreme sports she could lay her hands on. The one who wouldn't allow a broken wrist to stop her playing football. The Tori who held down two jobs whilst at college and all the while dealing with the death of her Father. The one who could take on anything the world threw at her.
Now I just feel like a shell of myself.
Do you know what it is like to accept that you need to use a walking stick at the age of 24? All the while having to deal with people's judgemental stares as you walk around. The public's eyes burning right through you as if to say I have no right using it. This is one of my main issues in accepting my new reality. I know how the general public treat the sick and disabled. You could say it comes down to animal nature. Picking on the weakest of the herd as, god forbid, they should ever procreate.
I thought we were better than that, didn't you?
We're meant to be these 'intelligent beings'. How can we distinguish our own race as intelligent when our own government leading the vile dictation of abuse towards it's own kind. You may not see it because lets admit, ignorance is bliss, but it's most definitely there. Try looking harder at those news articles you read about the disabled being 'benefit scroungers' or the lack of news coverage about the disabled fighting back and standing together against the 1933 vision of Nazi Germany our OWN government has become.
Well this is the first snippet of my mind that I've allowed to make public. I hope I haven't bored you too much.